Freedom & Trust

Dear Friends,

After the stunning and gut wrenching violence erupting in Texas this last week, I found myself helplessly reading about the useless details; taking in the Facebook fury; the despairing angst from other parents who have lost children; even the indignation of those who think that these school shootings are elaborate government hoaxes designed to “take away our guns”.  I read an intensely personal piece written by the frantic mother of a sweet murdered girl.

I want to scream and jump in to the fray of argument: we need strict gun laws like New Zealand… NO we need more, better armed, better trained school police…. I want to shout, is a semi-automatic the same as a hunting rifle, you (expletive) idiot? Will you be hunting your deer with an AK47, will you? Will it save you from the SWAT team? Will we be sending our children to go to schools built as high security prisons, with soldiers standing nearby? At other moments, I step away from the screen, trembling with fear at the words I will see there.

I have been taking a break from the media and Facebook stories, now.  I am grieving for an America that was once believed in, for the shining land of freedom and equality and personal empowerment that some thought was possible.

America’s founding documents include a lot about individual freedoms as a path towards happiness…. Freedom of speech; freedom of religion; freedom to gather in assembly. YES! I want these freedoms! I want to be able to follow my own beliefs, not to be censured in my own land, and to be exposed to multiple points of view in the press, to choose my own ways and my own tribe.

However, the freedom to bear arms, gives me pause…. Why do we really need that one, again? Our founding society, 250 years ago, had dangers for which guns may have been very relevant: a big one was to be free from the tyranny of an unchosen King living far away. Another was to feed their families.  However, what are the pressing modern day American needs?

To be able to overcome a host of modern illnesses, linked to the standard food supply and/or toxin exposures and/or despair and drugs

To be safe from family and community violence (suicides, murders, abuse, domination)

To be safe from climate disasters

To have sufficient nutrients in our foods

To have capacity to earn a decent living that feeds our social needs as well

To have enough access to resources to care for our families

Is the freedom to bear arms relevant to these needs getting addressed? I don’t believe so, unless you don’t trust the government or your communities to attend to these needs.

And that is the rub.

Many many people don’t trust the American government, or their communities of power, almost at all. I am one of them, when I reflect on it - I don’t trust that police will treat all humanely; I don’t trust that the FDA trials are not tainted by big Pharma; I don’t trust the government’s food system priorities; that the army isn’t just catering to private oil interests; that our public schools are feeding or teaching our children well; that our very earth is being cared for. If I don’t trust government to make good balanced calls about these vital parts of my life; than I need all of those freedoms to be able to follow my own way….. And I get it, everyone needs to feel that they trust in their authorities, or else we can easily feel dominated, ignored and unprotected…. And then the inevitable result is that folks feel the need to fight back, to protect themselves, from violence that might come from some unidentified place….. To emphasize their presence with authority. With holstered guns. With AK47s.

To me it seems that the right to bear arms, which perhaps started as a way to hunt for food, and to ensure that a monarch would never run rough trod over us again, has become a way to hide our feelings and needs behind symbols of power; or worse, acts of violence.

There’s usually ways to figure out how to meet everyone’s real needs, yet it takes a nuanced conversation, powered by trust. What will build my trust in America, in our governing institutions? It's going to take a lot of change, honestly.  It may take the corporate interests around us disappearing entirely, or at least becoming way, way, way, way, way way way less powerful. For others, it may take something else. I’m afraid that the American governmental system hasn’t earned much trust in a long, long time. If leaders had trust, they could make balanced decisions that actually support people in their needs. Without trust, they are stuck hissing at each other in a desperate attempt to hold power.

And I admit, I can’t feel America. I can’t really listen to America. It’s too darn overwhelming and big - commercialized, and covered over with crusty protections from the truth. I can’t even identify honesty, on the internet. I can’t really feel all the pain and trauma around us. I just want to look away.

So, how can we start to live in the beautiful society that our heart yearns for? How can we build trust again, inside ourselves and in our compromised leadership and our broken systems? Are we headed to hell in a hand basket, world war three based in water for the chicken-mcnuggets, with no choice but to watch it all burn down?  Perhaps. But my answer and sanity is: stay small. Stay focused very local, on my microclimate of connection, and operate one day at a time. One person at a time. One memory at a time. One town meeting at a time. One organization at a time. One law at a time. Progress comes at the speed of trust. Trust springs out of simple honesty. Keep my eye on that.

And, I hope that someone out there figures out a pathway to move out of a two party system. We humans may be stupid creatures, but we are also complex. Life is fuller and more than this-or-that, and it needs our all-dimensional relating now. Yes, I am an advocate for a multi-choice vote; a multi-powered system; a way to make decisions that works on win/win/win strategies between different tribes of people who can describe their core, complex needs. Let’s find new ways to govern ourselves that represents our voices more accurately. We need to be heard.

Real trust can’t be mass marketed, can’t be figured out by smart wealthy corporations, or created over the internet. Real trust, like love, is something we all have to earn, slowly, with our honest self reflections, and create from ashes, and give forward into the world. We can’t heal alone. We can’t be prosperous, alone. We need a healthy and vibrant society, around us, a green planet and trees. We need the capacity to speak, and be heard, and to have our voice make a difference in the behavior of the people around us. If we don’t have this, we will surely die.  If we can find this, in any one place, then it can grow.

America’s dream may be irretrievably broken, yet let’s learn and grow stronger, deep within those broken places.

And here is a song, all about TRUST, for you beautiful people.

Eliza